Not sure why I´m here, because I had made the decision to stop posting here. But in a way it´s therapeutic to put down my thoughts and feelings here. I hope you don´t mind.
Life is full of sickness and pain at the moment. It´s so hard to watch a loved one suffer. We have friends who have cancer, we watch them..... we have a dad who fell and broke his hip, had a hip replacement, is still in hospital and is not getting any better, we watch him.....we have friends who´s marriages have split, we watch them.
What is a person to do? We pray. We try to help as best we can, but it hurts. I knew the time would come when people close to us would die, or suffer, and tried to prepare myself for it, but you really can´t. We are at the age, where sickness can come at any time. I was in the hospital for 3 days in Aug. and Sept, for two very different reasons. Both not explainable, no diagnosis. The pain came and went and no one knows from what. In Sept I had an allergic reaction like I´ve never had before. One morning I woke up and my whole upper body was covered with red rash, even my face. Only after a few days of cortisone through the IV, did it go away. No one knows the reason for it.
I blame my sicknesses on my lack of exercise. Since I started full time work, I have not been able to do my walking like I used to. Back when I walked every day, I felt great. I know I have to get back to a routine of walking again and am working on getting my motivation up for that. It also helped to clear my mind. I know it was good for me, why is it so hard to do then??
I´d like to say to those that are healthy and have healthy friends and family: BE THANKFUL for each day you have this blessing and know it is a gift from God. God knows how much a person can take, and doesn´t put more on his shoulders than that, but sometimes I think we need to focus on ourselves too, to not let ourselves get rolled over. We need to distance ourselves and not forget to focus on our own soul, we need to be aware of how much we can take. How to do that? Maybe a weekend away, or some time alone. That´s why it´s so important I start walking again too. Maybe your comments will spur me on. :)
My work is busy, but good. I think God gave me this new job, so I would be able to focus on that in the daytime and not have to dwell on the hard things happening in our lives at the moment. Even though it drains me totally some days, I´m thankful for the meaning it gives my day.
So, yes life is hard at the moment, but there will come other times. We will master this with God´s help and hope for better times.
Thanks for listening to my thoughts.